EXCLUSIVE: Ankita Lokhande on life after her breakup with Sushant Singh Rajput: I wanted to finish myself

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Ankita Lokhande has gone through hell and back in her personal life. The actress has always managed to come out stronger than before and in a tell-all interview, Ankita Lokhande has finally opened up on battling depression and being in the low phase of life post-breakup with late actor Sushant Singh Rajput. Opening up on how she was lost after breakup, Ankita Lokhande revealed that people often judged her and would assume that she broke up with Sushant but no one really knew her story. When asked if her silence backfired on her, Ankita shared, “Of course it has.”

“I thought that silence is a virtue in situations like these so that the sanctity of the relationship is not affected. I am not somebody who would make a tamasha of my personal life in public. Yes, people misunderstood me. People today come and tell me ‘you left Sushant’ How do they know this? Nobody knows my story. I am not blaming anyone here. Sushant made his choice very clear, he wanted to go ahead in his career and he chose it and moved on. But for two and a half years, I was dealing with so many things. I was not in that state of mind where I could just work. I am not that person who could have easily moved on and started working. So, for me, it was very difficult but my family stood by me,” Ankita emotionally recalled.

The Manikarnika actress added, “The way my family supported me, my life was finished, I was finished and I did not know what to do after that. I am not blaming anyone. He chose his way, but my way was different. I was craving for love, affection. I gave him full right to move on but I was battling the situation very badly and came out strongly. I thought everything is over for me but that was the beginning for me and I begin with good things.”

She recounted feeling lost and said that she had thoughts of finishing herself too but her family helped her come out of it. “Yes, I was lost completely. Even today when I think about that time I feel scared. I am thankful that I am out of it today but at that moment, I did not know what I was going to do. When life turns U-turn, you don’t know what to do.”

Recently, in a live Ankita opened up about facing depression. Did she feel it might be misconstrued by people? “No, I don’t think that way. When I feel something, I say it, I don’t calculate things. I knew that whatever I say, people will judge me. I spoke about depression because people did not know that even I have gone through it. But I am not here to cry about my situation, I think I came out of it very strongly, thanks to my family.”

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Revealing when she realised she needed help, Ankita asserted, “I won’t call it depression, it was a feeling of sadness. Whatever was happening in my life, I couldn’t understand it and then I started understanding that this is something which is maybe not good for me. I would just sleep through the day, would not speak to anyone, not even my parents. I was lost in myself, and in those moments, you have scary thoughts, maybe I wanted to finish myself, the thought process is such but I came out of it strongly, my family and friends helped me a lot.”

She also revealed that very few understood her back then. “People didn’t want to understand my situation then. Very few friends were there for me back then. There are people who would tell me ‘why have you still kept Sushant’s pics, remove it’ and I would like to please give me time. People would advise me against it. People would run away from this situation but I would get up and face it head-on, and there was one day when I realised now I need to focus on myself. That’s when I met Vicky and found happiness again,” she explained.

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